i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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