Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
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