fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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