toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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