your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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