Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
