I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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