i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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