Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
