I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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