I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
