you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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