Dual....:-)
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I lost the right to judge tonight
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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