she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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