Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
