I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
