The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
We left the knife in your bed.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize