Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it

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(778): View more from British Columbia

I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.

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(207): View more from Maine

Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.

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(720): View more from Colorado

me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling

(303): View more from Colorado

Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper

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(323): View more from California

You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five

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(302): View more from Delaware

I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime

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(207): View more from Maine

I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.

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