This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
