I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize