definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
