So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
