At least make sure they are 18
Why
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
