i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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