where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
please come you make the beer taste better
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize