Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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