I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
