hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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