Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
