That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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