I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize