loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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