ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just cut my nipple shaving
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
