i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
