i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
