I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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