marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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