i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
