I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
