mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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