As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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