awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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