i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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