Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He better not be in your backpack
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
