Apparently you make a good broom.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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