I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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