my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize