i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize