Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
