after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
