Sry I called you an 8
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
