Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
