i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
