Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
