hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
